grapefruit and lemongrass

up and down.

stay lifted, drawn up by a tiny string.

keep reeling me in.

one glimpse, a little phrase, and i come spinning down.

slowly; easily.

so gentle.

head in my hands

i pray for something.

i need some strength.

keep me in your hands

wrapped tight, just hold me.

i thought i was through it. I still know its the right thing.

I have to know. Somewhere you've got this master plan that I'm completely oblivious to.

I wish to know it. Yet I don't want to know. Not yet. I'm still growing.

That's why I'm alone. You're testing me.

Still being tempted.

We just can't talk, yanno? It's too easy for you. So easy. You seem so light.

sumi, you mean so much.

thank you for having so much faith in me.

drifting near me, bumping into the glass, satellite can feel it. she's beautiful.

not too recently, i've developed an infatuation with butterflies. I didn't think anything of it until it was becoming more and more obvious that I was surrounded by them. Close to the beginning of November, I found a picture of all of these insects - butterflies, mostly. I put it as my wallpaper where I could always see it. I found a butterfly against my dad's bumper. Just laying there perfectly, bright yellow. I've kept it for about two months now. This week my house cleaner came, but left some bottle - a cleaning supply, I assume? with a butterfly on the front. Just sitting on my empty cabinets. Standing out, I always notice it. I haven't moved it. Brooke always brings me magazine pages that she's found with butterflies all over them. I finally took the hint and looked up the significance of them.

"...symbolizes change and new life."

There's the sign I've been praying for.

Isaiah 43.

don't ever forget.