Regina Spektor.
God puts people in your life for a reason - I'm a firm believer.
Even though I get impatient most times, you still mean so much to me. You are my tiny test of patience wrapped up in the smallest package. Cute little bow on top. It meant so much when you hesitated to tell me everything. I told you it was making my stomach turn into knots, and you looked at me, wiped a tear, and put into words what I wasted my time on. I wasn't even sad at first. I'm still not sad. I just was in complete awe - I had nothing to say at all. When he was texting me, trying to tell me I was the annoyance in this situation, I threw my phone at the wall and started crying. I can't always be so strong, it gets so hard. I can't help but to let go, exhale and let it all out. Let it out through my paint brush covered in bleach. My whole room smelled so bad. It hurt to open my eyes, and my headache kept growing. Fill it with sand. Throw it on the stack of wood outside. This can't harm me, it's just a test.
I look forward to the messages between us. It's more than just conversation, we're growing. Just like you said - we're growing.
and thats the part of you wanting to see the good in the world.
youre not weak for wanting love
love is the one thing everything can come down to
some people are either too immature or insensitive to realize that.
you break down because life is umpredictable
it wouldnt be worth living if it wasnt
dont lose faith in your feelings
they know you better than anyone
God, thank you for Kendall. He has all the right things to say, and I pray that he knows how thankful I am. There needs to be more people in the world like him.
My ring finger isn't naked. I don't wear the ring for just purity reasons. It's a constant reminder of my values. A reminder that I tend to let people in too easily. I let them in close, not realizing what I'm getting myself into until I'm completely abandoned, laying lifeless.
Actually, never lifeless, more alive than ever. Feeling more and expressing more than I normally would. I've missed this feeling of knowing where I am. You have to know where you're at before you can grow. Eventually, your weak foundation will just crumble down. I'm tired of having to prove this to myself over and over again.
Joe Purdy
It was so comfortable tonight, sitting next to you in the library. I've never noticed how quiet libraries are. Not until you pointed out the fact that I was shouting. I have some inability to whisper. I don't know what it is. I've always sort of liked the idea of whispering. It's intimate and the way everything sounds seems so elegant.
It takes so much energy to whisper.
It takes so much energy to get in the shower - the reason why you scooted your chair a few inches away from mine.
I've missed being your friend. I've missed our conversations about nothing, or everything at all. Most times at the same time. You think so much, but it's one of the reasons I enjoy talking to you. You're a prodigy, so stop denying it, organic chemist.
Regina Spektor again.
What is ever going on in her mind?
I made it home safely to my little hermit shell. Showered with grapefruit and lemongrass. Do you ever feel like you can't get clean enough? I washed my hair about three times, I think. It kept feeling the same. When I finally got clean, I just didn't want to put on anything that would ruin it.
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