after unveiling raw emotions about our past, i felt the uncanny desire to go biking. i jumped on my precious angel of a bike that tyler has recently fixed for me, and pedaled my heart out. i went about ten miles in a little over thirty minutes, and at the end of my ride - you know after you've mentally sorted out your present unhappiness, and after you've physically fought your battles and let your endorphins win, i felt like the healthy woman i know i must be. i had missed the feeling after a ride of your skin pulsing, and sweat beginning to surface, then rolling down your skin onto the furniture you're melting into. after a shower, and enrapturing into my favorite blogs, i came here to share a website i found that makes me so excited to make a home.
http://www.pigeontoeceramics.com/shop/category/around-the-house/
there are several little pots (mostly for succulents or house plants) that i am lusting over. little ceramic creamer pots, that i will never need, but have an urge to buy for our home in boston.
during my ride, and on the dreadful drive home from jenkins, it was apparent to me why i felt so nauseous about raking up all the awful memories our past held: i would have never dreamed of a love like this. i would have never imagined that my heart could ache for one specific soul like mine does for yours, but in the most painless of ways. i wish that i could change the past, and i wish that i could be the perfect shining gem that you deserve- be it now or even in times gone. but you were right when you said that i am doing my own thing, following my own heart and unique desires; striving for lungs full of light and a stable mentality. you were right. i'm incredibly thankful that despite the fog that lays over me, and despite my lack of perfection, that you promise every moment of your time to me. i'm thankful that as much as i know my heart is yours, yours is mine.
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