i wish that there were actual words i could use to portray the happiness that this weekend has given me. not just a smile, but i could cryyy i'm so happy.
this week; this week has been so emotionally draining. ranging from my parents not looking me in the eye to not being able to distinguish individual silhouettes from each other because i'm so happy. melanie and i left on thursday, knowing that we were about to have one of the best weekends. however, we didn't know that our eating schedule would be completely skewed, our lives would be shaken and our hearts would be completely full of love and passion that we wouldn't be able to contain it. but that's what happened.
the drive to arkansas with her was perfect. i couldn't have asked for a better car-mate. (car-mate?....)
we got to fayetteville and scoped out the venue - The Arkansas Music Pavilion. right in the parking lot of the mall. we had been in touch with bailey, hoots and greg all throughout the day and we finally met them at their hotel for pregaming. they are the most loving group of people. they had guys they had picked up along the trip with them, who were also some of the sweetest. their room reeeeeeks of wine because Nick, the 6'8 guy they had with them, broke the wine bag and it literally exploded all over the walls, the sheets, his (and every other guy's there) clothes. they start taking shots and filling the room with herb. it's cloudy and you can smell it from the elevator. melanie and i take a couple bites and we are off. the designated drivers. the only two even relatively capable. i know this town like the back of my hand, so i trail us all off to the show. my first tribe show. after getting our tickets and getting separated from our crew, it begins to pourrrrrrrrr down rain. literally can't see through it. we find greg and get under the pavillion. the show is about to begin and everyone's mouth is full of tiny squares, and everyone's eyes are brighttttt. smiles plastered on our faces. the first track is laid down and it's allllllll uphill from there. i could cry thinking about it. everyone of us dancing together and smiling and the lights and the music and the energy. there was such good energy that i've been searching for. longggging for.
like i said, none of this does the whole show justice. there aren't words.
drive from fayetteville to tahlequah. still a little hazy. praise all goodness, and thank karma that i made it there safely. we pick up kaitlin and she's in the stars. get back to her apartment and crash. i sleep on the floor, and don't mind a bit. i barely can even recall how uncomfortable it was.
the next day: much needed shower, hang out with grandma, then drive to tulsa.
i drove to tulsa against my parents requests. i had to do it, and it was worth it. tribe round 2. they played one of their most popular songs and there's a video of me, melanie and greg dancing to it on youtube. i feel famous, for sure. ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cnfwg2D6FTo
after the tribe opens for ghostland.............. melanie and i split. once again, it's all sort of hazy, but i made it to wafflehouse, then back to tahlequah in one piece. i blasted tribe on the way home and i could feel it pulsing in my veins. it was growing and i couldn't go the speed limit. once again, find kaitlin, go to her apartment and sleep on the floor... only this night, i slept on couch cushions i had shaped into a bed. you have to get creative when you're living out of your car, i learned this weekend.
next. day. what day is this? saturday? hm. kaitlin's mom makes us some of theeeee best food i've had in awhile. i literally inhale it, then we go get ready for this "exciting party" at kaitlin's friend Jocelyn's house. .....
we get to this trailer house in Bell, Oklahoma. no one knows where this is, i'm sure of it. but it's a town in the sticks full of indians. indians that are knowwwwwn to be violent. literally, they skin people's heads. okay? this is where i was taken. without a car. and since we are so far away from anything safe, we don't have service. kaitlin wouldn't let us take her car because we were intoxicated. little did she know that the 27 year old men, the blasting country music, and everyone staring at us drinking from our camelback were all buzz kills. any substance we could've consumed would not have taken us to a happier place. there were ants crawling on the walls, moths getting caught in our hair, and a stove that had no burners. the window was non-existent, and the door didn't close. there were six 30 packs....... six. we are bundled up together on this couch trying to figure out who would come get us. we even contemplated calling my grandmother at 2 in the morning. but instead, we think of Jacob, my "destiny". we use jocelyn's phone to call him, fighting for service. by the graceeee of Goddddd, he comes to our rescue. he ran out of gas, and drove up and down the Bell roads trying to find us. SOMEHOW he finally does, and i can rememmmmber how big the smile was on my face. i'd never been so happy to see anyone in my life. safety. to celebrate, and honestly, release a little tension that had been stored up; cigarettes all around. i pay for his gas and nearly kiss his feet for saving us. he takes us back to the party he was at, and i crawl out of his truck. i give him a piece of earth and he tells me to go in and find his younger brother inside, that he'll take care of us. he does just that.
miles, Jacob's younger brother, is literally one of the sweetest kids i've ever met. he hugs me for such a long time and directs us to a room with an open mattress. thank goodness melanie and i had brought our own pillows and blankets. mmm, long story short, the Ouija board is broken out and i get outttt of there. i join miles on the porch and wait for jacob. after much talk about his life and discovery of faith, melanie and i crash on our empty mattress. miles comes in and lays next to me, between me and the door, to protect us. i hug the kid like theres no tomorrow and we fall asleep. the last thing i remember him saying was "it's 5:30". i was woken up by jacob and kyle at i have noooo idea what time, because they want cigarettes? i stumble around and find them, and not long after, jacob stumbles in and joins the three of us sleeping. finally. rest. ... on a mattress?
we wake up around 10, melanie and i, and still have not heard a word from kaitlin. we torment jacob, the only one left in the bed with us, and finally get around to brushing our teeth. the sweetie, jacob, takes us back to our car in tahlequah. might i add, that tahlequah is 35 minutes away from westville. and Bell is about an hour away. this kid deserves the world. anywho - we eat lunch at some mexican place and are reunited with kaitlin. it's now... sunday?
sunday. chill. rent movies. go back to kaitlin's parents' house and watch them. pack and breathe, we are going to jupiter. we watch two movies, and after melanie naps, we go vandalize things. try to steal the "welcome to oklahoma" sign, get grass burns from diving repeatedly into the ditch, and come home with an orange finger from spray paint. we start up another movie and i don't remember anything else until waking up this morning at 11.
drive home. completely overjoyed. there are no words.
also - while in fayetteville, something about it just sang to me. i'm probably going there next semester. even my parents agree. which is a rare thing this week. or ever in college respects.
but now it's back to the real world, and i cannot think about it. i've already got a list of things i need to do. none of them i've even done yet because i had to get this all out before i forgot a single detail. i wish everyone could experience this feeling of freedom. we all need it.
rereading this, i realize this does my whole weekend absolutely no justice. damn it, i wish i had words. i wish i could actually make someone feel what i felt. i'm sorry that not a one of you reading this were there. i truly am.
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