theres so much love or adoration that i want to give everyone, but my mouth doesn't work that way, it's only the inside of me like burning sometimes, wanting to get out. my mouth doesn't work like a mouth and my brain works like a mouth, only on paper or through my fingertips on a keyboard. they've got it all confused, but nothing feels more natural than writing it all down.
i always think that i'll write everyone letters so they know what they mean to me, because it's more than just an acquaintance sometimes. it's more than just, "thank you for giving me your pen today". sometimes it's the little things that make the whole day seem brighter, and i wish that everyone knew. so many words these days are taken so lightly and i don't know how to make them feel weighted.
i'm genuinely anticipating the next year more and more every day. not just because i'm moving to boston and spending the rest of my time with the boy that i've always had my heart set on, but because some of my bests and the people close to me are doing what they've always dreamed of doing too. it's feeling the support from them, and feeling their light and warmth everyday with their good morning texts that make me remember that it's all worth it.
but even more than that, maybe equivalent to, it's making new connections and finding similarities between people you've never known before. jp used to tell me that throughout his 26 years of living and from all the places that he's been, he meets the same people, only different bodies. the same personalities cycle around, but i swear that some are golden, and they have all fallen into my lap.
i am so thankful for each and every person that's been pushed into my direction, and whether you know it or not, i think about it every day.
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