wheat grass

yanno, i think about summer and i keep pushing.

i think about this weekend, and i keep pushing.

i think about what i'll be wearing which is little, and i think about how my hair will continue to grow and my heart and my friendships with you and the new ones i still seem to be creating. i don't know how i create some so easily, and some are so adamant about leaving. adamant. reckless. they're so ready, but i'm okay. as long as you leave silently. just you, because we were unhealthy.

i'm glad that this is so small. no one knows about it besides a handful of people. i think i've told a person or two who's forgotten, and i don't even mind. people come and they go like memories. like clothes that you wear and let go of.

i went to his house today after lunch and he was working on his car. i park in the street and get out and walk up to him. do i hug him? do i not? "hiiiii" he was wearing a pinkish/purple shirt with stripes. it was like we had known each other for so long, it was so easy. he shows me what's under his hood, and he points out what he made. additions to his engine? i don't even know. it's like a foreign language. we look at monica, "wanna drive my car?" we get in and he has to adjust the seat because i'm 5'2. he's 6'0. we drive around his neighborhood, and we get back and he parks my car next to his. he tells me he's the only one home and i comment on his house, he tells me he'll give me a tour. we walk in and he mentions the couch they got recently, then points out the couch they used to use which just happens to be a laid over punching bag. he walks me down the hall to his room, pushes open the door and comments on how he ran out of paint as he was painting his walls. also about how he started to paint his door, but hated the color. hated. "it's okay, admit it looks dumb". sharing the same wall was his sister's room, he reached for the handle, closing the door, and comments on how she's never here. he shakes his head, and says he's always sleeping at her boyfriends. he keeps shaking his head. we walk back outside and just talk until i have to leave for class. old friends, plans, the sun, skateboarding? his class, grades, occc. i get in my car and start it, and he reaches up to grab his garage door. pulls it down, and it was so easy.