hey dallas

was supposed to get my sun today, right on the back of my neck. 2 months shy of 18. instead, i passed out right outside of a harley davidson store with my dad and brother. and a million bikers. i face planted into the concrete and i have scrapes and bruises, a torn up lip, and a cut nose to prove. you can’t feel the throbbing, but it happens. i don’t remember what ever happens when i pass out, except the warm relaxed feeling i always get. i spin, like i’m dreaming, and i wake up. this time, in a chair with my dad yelling my name, a biker putting cookies in my hands. “i’m sorry” was all i could get out. my dad kept shaking me, and, “i want to lay down”. i stumbled to the car and that’s when i couldn’t stop crying. not because my face was bleeding, not because my toes were scraped, but because it’s so annoying that my body just shuts off. just restarts and throws me down, face-first. it scares whoever i’m with, i hate it. because of this, the whole day was sort of weird, and i didn’t want to eat or anything. i miss monica and mariah and my bed. and i miss my comfortable house. my body aches.