sometimes we get caught up in everyday struggles, and we let them get the best of us. or i do at least. it's natural to feel worried, to sometimes get sad. just like it's natural to sometimes feel exceptionally euphoric; it's natural.
but occasionally you have to step outside of yourself and realize that we are living for something so much bigger than two weeks worth of school struggles. honestly, we go through this every semester. we get behind or we feel stressed out, and remember how we always get through it? we always get through it. nothing has to be bad. running around occc campus can be fun when you're trying to find a calculator, because i was almost laughing at myself when i ran into my class and received my grade-determining test. i really just slumped into my chair, nearly whimsically, and threw my arms down beside me, unloading all the breath i was struggling to find while running. it was funny. i was in such a hurry, and was temporarily so stressed out over finding something i'm now trying to get rid of, waiting here at the cafe for the wonderful girl who lent it to me. i want to buy her coffee, but don't have my card/any money at all on me.
there are several different things running through my head that i want to write about, that i want to say, but not any gumption to write it all down. actually, the difficult part currently, is how to organize it. like seeing charlotte, lulu and sid this weekend. i want to talk about how nice it was to feel so connected with them even after being apart for so long.about how nice it was that sid helped tyler and i feel more confident in where we want to go in life. like if we are meant to go to boston, it'll all work out, it'll all be okay. he helped show us the best place to live, it was nice.
i don't know, really. i don't know what exactly i'm trying to say.
but not everything has to be bad.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
fall baby, always
fall is nice, and i try to shed a little light on everyone i deliver to because it feels so nice. everyone small talks about how they hate how cold it's getting, and i try to remind them that it's beautiful and they would've killed for this weather during the summer. the weather and the color of the trees is - god, it's seriously breathtaking.
i stand at the register at work, taking people's orders, and trying to run everything in and out of my ears fast to keep with the pace of the store, but my mind is always outside where the yellow leaves are blowing around. everyone looks beautiful in the fall. i know that i have to be glowing, because in the midst of every stressful thing, nature really screams that i am loved.
daily, i keep up with blogs of the ones closest to me. i have them tagged onto my home screen on my phone so i feel closer, and i become almost instantaneously happier. reading what everyone does in the morning, their conversations with the ones they love. reading what they think about during the day. i just want to be inside everyone's brain. i'm always curious, "what are you thinking?". i like to hear what goes on, and your opinions, i like knowing what the trees make you think of, what color i am. i like hearing what you think about what i'm wearing. or what someone said to you that made you inquisitive about things. really, i want to be a part of everything that makes you feel. i always want to be closer.
it's nice being so intwined in hearts of some people that you can think about hugging them for the first time in four months and tear up. thinking about hugging charlotte and drinking tea with her in her tv room. god, i really could live in that moment. sitting at her kitchen table in the morning, and looking at how we are both radiant in the mirror by the windows that overlook her mom's garden. even when we look busted, we cuddle in the morning, and enjoy criticizing the books her mom reads- just from our judgement by skimming over the pages.
i'm so excited for the upcoming weeks, and the upcoming months, because things are falling into place, and we are all so blessed. it's in the air, really.
i stand at the register at work, taking people's orders, and trying to run everything in and out of my ears fast to keep with the pace of the store, but my mind is always outside where the yellow leaves are blowing around. everyone looks beautiful in the fall. i know that i have to be glowing, because in the midst of every stressful thing, nature really screams that i am loved.
daily, i keep up with blogs of the ones closest to me. i have them tagged onto my home screen on my phone so i feel closer, and i become almost instantaneously happier. reading what everyone does in the morning, their conversations with the ones they love. reading what they think about during the day. i just want to be inside everyone's brain. i'm always curious, "what are you thinking?". i like to hear what goes on, and your opinions, i like knowing what the trees make you think of, what color i am. i like hearing what you think about what i'm wearing. or what someone said to you that made you inquisitive about things. really, i want to be a part of everything that makes you feel. i always want to be closer.
it's nice being so intwined in hearts of some people that you can think about hugging them for the first time in four months and tear up. thinking about hugging charlotte and drinking tea with her in her tv room. god, i really could live in that moment. sitting at her kitchen table in the morning, and looking at how we are both radiant in the mirror by the windows that overlook her mom's garden. even when we look busted, we cuddle in the morning, and enjoy criticizing the books her mom reads- just from our judgement by skimming over the pages.
i'm so excited for the upcoming weeks, and the upcoming months, because things are falling into place, and we are all so blessed. it's in the air, really.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
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