live a beautiful life

so much has happened, and I've thought about writing repeatedly, but haven't had the umph or the energy.

I want to go back to two weeks ago when I went to my family reunion and talk about how blessed my whole family is. How blessed I seem to be. My uncle talked to me for a good 30 minutes about school and how I should stop worrying about my major. I told him about how I get freaked out at the thought of college because it's a huuuge step. It's deciding the rest of my life. That scares me.

He told me that my passion will carry me.

I should take my intuition and run with it.

That I have some unknown genetic code that will lead me to where I need to be - where God intends me to be.

All of that was extremely comforting, but still.. what is my unknown genetic code? No one knows, obviously.. but that makes it tough.

But I feel like I know where I need to be. I get all of these great ideas, numerous, that I always write down, for my coffee shop that I want. Everything is right in front of me. Yet I get intimidated at the whole thought of it. But I need to trust my intuition. I need to trust God, who has all power to make things work.

Lately things have been going down, excuse me, straight down the shitter. I become stressed out at the littlest thing. I get worried about things that aren't permanent. Nothing is permanent. My friend recently told me that love isn't even permanent. My stomach tries to jump out of my throat at the thought of that, and I can't believe it. I think that love is permanent. Maybe a certain level of love isn't permanent, but love is still there. I think.

Who knows.

But even when impermanent things get you down, you just have to have the right mindset. Everything is a test. Just a test of faith.

Romans 5:3

Romans 8:18

1 Peter 4:12

I walked into Mariah's house the other day to feed her dogs.

I love her house, it's so free and open. It presents such good energy. Things are written on the walls, on the mirrors, on the cabinets. All to encourage one another.

Written on the bathroom mirror was

"If you don't have good relationships with one another, you are not living a beautiful life"

When is this not true?

It's always true. Myself, when I have problems or little tiffs with friends, it eats at me. I try to push it out of my mind and tell myself that nothing is permanent, but it still keeps my eyes open and my imagination running. Even people who aren't my "friends", I still let them get the best of me. I can become the biggest bitch because of something that an "enemy" has said. I shouldn't let them control my emotions like that. I should relax and live a beautiful life, right? I think we all should.